hello. welcome to my <s>awesome</s> dancerfied-kpopfied blog

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Sunday, December 24, 2017

@ 9:42 PM

John 3:16

Merry Christmas~

hello.

I suddenly felt that i should write something for christmas. its been too long since i have my own time and i know its kinda sad(?) maybe.. to spend christmas eve alone XD but im ok with it. it just feels strange now that im done with university. i know right... im done with uni. wow.

4 years had just gone like this. and i cant help but say so many things had happened since then. i was only 20 when that began and now id turned 24. and idk.. its just strange that this year had the most ups and downs. but i definitely had enjoyed it. this year made me learn so much abt myself and how i handled situations which im glad it had happened even though it may not be the nicest things.

i think one of the best thing i had learn is to not care about what other people think. it made me so much happier and i guess that's something which really pushed me to where i am now. ok im going to drag bts here. but they were also one of the motivations which made it happen. when i first started my channel, i was planning to vlog outside but i didnt have the courage. right now i just carry my camera not phone. camera! and walk around the street and i dont give a dam abt the looks ppl give. because if you actually think abt it its a natural phenomenon. lol. like u will be wondering what am i filming and what am i doing. i would do the same for others too. so yea.. there's nothing much to care actually.

and i guess i enjoy talking to older people. lol. i realised u really learn a lot when u talk to people from different age groups and thats when u see how that generation thinks differently from you. it made me see how koreans think about certain issues too. i guess i just like learning from ppl around me in real life. communicating with other people is actually very important and precious. ever since my nephew is born the time which i skyped with my sis had decreased obviously and sometimes i kinda miss talking to her too. haha. but i know we are all busy with our stuff. im glad that my mum would always initiate the skype but i guess i should be more active in stuff like that.

yup.. before i fly to taiwan for a break at the end of the year i think i will update one more time. haha. cos i got to do some other stuff now~ hehe. have a merry christmas~ ^^

Labels: bts, christmas, family, god, korea, life

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

@ 10:10 PM

셀레는 만큼 많이 두려워

hello

so it has been ages~ since i last updated this blog. haha. im not sure who still reads it but yea im back for an update.

a lot of things had happened since i last blogged. i'm currently at my last semester of university and can you believe thats already happening? lol. i cant believe its been more than 5 years since i came to korea and the next thing i knew, im already finishing my last sem, submitting resumes to companies, looking for a job etc. wow. time sure flies when you arent aware of it.

honestly 2017 has been going through like a buzz. i already kinda knew this may or may not be my last year here in korea, im hoping not because i want to stay and find a job here before going back to sg. so yea in any case, i have been kind of treasuring the moments which i have in korea right now. a lot of things had happened which made me feel that way and i think it took me some time to realise that. and i think once u start treasuring those stuff, life seems to get better. haha. well, thats at least what i think.

recently the thing which has been on my mind is dance. haha. surprisingly because i bet those who still follow me on insta know that im crazy over bts these days. i still am, its just i suddenly have a lot of thoughts of fangirling vs reality. so the thing is i recently finished my performance for ku vs yonsei games and ive been thinking its most probably gonna be my last performance this year? maybe. but idk. i feel like because of job applications and everything i have this internal conflict abt me dancing and me facing the reality. i realised that i dont think i can put a restriction on myself dancing because theres just this part of me which still want to dance badly. i mean i can pause for awhile but i dont think i can say it will be the last time for me. and so ever though i wrote those kind of post on fb and insta i feel like i will still perform at kudt annual concert most probably at the year end. LOL. i was looking at other seniors and they already graduated yes. but they still take the time and effort to come out to practice and i thought abt it and im like why cant i do that too. sure they are koreans and they already have a house to stay and most probably would not have as much issues as i have but its because of the passion they have thats why they are still coming back to kudt even though they have already graduated etc. so i guess theres no way to stop someone from doing sth which they really like.

im not sure if u guys know this program called 'idol school' but its apparently mnet's newest form of selecting girls to debut as idol. its kinda similar to produce 101 but like a school girl concept. so anyway, this girl who was from produce 101 went to idol sch again but got eliminated again so she didnt get to debut in the end. i didnt watch the show till the end but i just follow the news. shes a year younger than me and the other time i casually commented to my frens that maybe she should just resort to fate and take it that shes not meant to debut. but after that i felt bad for saying that because i just kinda of sabotage myself too. so yes, i sincerely apologise for that comment. because i dont think its possible to stop someone from achieving what they want until they really get it. its sad to see how many times she had tried to reach out for her dream but fate is not in her way. her courage to keep going really amazes me and i really feel bad for saying sth like that.

i guess it really depends on how much you want to achieve something. if it kept pulling u back and discourage u from doing sth its ok to stop and rest for awhile. perhaps reset yr goals and think abt future strategies on how to deal with it. well, thats what i have been doing. and i think its getting better. or at least i hope. XD i mean ive been getting rejected from companies for a job and i think its ok for that to happen. ive seen many frens who submitted almost 100 applications and they only get call back from a few companies who seemed to be interested. i guess eveyrthing just goes back to failing and getting back up. its up to how much u want to commit and far u are willing to go. i think these days im pretty positive, its just i freak out easily from time to time XD its ok. i will get better and deal with all these stuff i hope ^^

and i think i kinda figure out why i enjoy blogging for the past 10 years. it kinda gets me to sort out my thoughts much more easier because i put them down into words. i get to picture it much more easier which i guess its a good way for me to think abt stuff. haha. yup.

i think i will most probably try and revive this blog asap when i get the time XD but anw, those who still read. thank you. XD

cheers haha.

Labels: bts, dance, friends, job, korea, ku, life

Sunday, April 02, 2017

@ 11:43 AM

헤헿~

hello.

its april already can u believe it?? and i got the feeling that im actually falling sick because of the season change and it kinda sucks. lol. its like these days im so busy with work and i feel like im not studying as much as im supposed to be and im getting worried cos its less than 3 weeks to mid terms. gg.

things aside, i went to a korean wedding yesterday and like what i have already said on my fb post, it was a military wedding. meaning the groom is a commander in the military school and the venue was held in the military base academy. i would say its a very very eye opening experience and im glad that i got invited to the wedding.

my point was about getting married. my sister already got married last year summer and this time with me attending another wedding made me feel like its interesting how and why people get married. this sem im taking a class called 'human communication' and so far i'd learnt why people stay in some relationships and why ppl decide to leave and remain single etc. it made me think a lot about my relationships with other people and why i continue to do so.

getting married its not a simple and easy thing and i feel that u have to have that basic amount of commitment and trust for your partner. plus, economic status and the relationship with yr in laws family. its weird how im thinking of this but i feel like this is what u have to consider when u decide if u really want to spend the rest of yr life with a specific someone. but then again some may argue (this is not an essay lol) that this is why people get married. because theres risk in it and its life. u cant be sure of whats gonna happen in life and thats what made life interesting and special. u live because of ur life. if ure gonna be so sure of whats gonna happen in the future then whats the point? u just plan according to what u want and meh. no fun.

costs and gains i must say. but watching miryeong unnie getting married yesterday just made me feel like she had taken such a big step in her life. really hope for the best for her marriage~ ^^

another reason why i have decided to blog today is because of what i feel abt relationships these days. lol. maybe im lonely. yes i think thats the reason why. but anw as u can tell from my few previous posts, its like bts bts bts. lol. and i have been thinking why are some ppl obsess with ppl whom they have hardly ever met in real life. like what is the cause and reason for them to become so into them. u get what i mean?

yea so because of that i have been questioning myself. and i believe its because of recent events, stress and kpop idols are like a channel for ppl to relieve their stress? its like looking at sth so perfect. them having to train for years before being able to debut and stuff and when they do, they are finally able to experience the fame and sweetness of success. its like a reflection of reality (but not entirely). you will succeed if u work hard and believe in yourself. so i guess thats why idols act as a source of hope for some people. i did for me. and i have also read accounts where an elf almost committed suicide but it was suju for brought her back to life or sth like that. it does sound over dramatic but i believe its real. there must be something which the elf had seen in suju.

interesting. very interesting. this kpop idol relationship. haha. idk what im doing again. im supposed to get lunch and study and yea.

happy aprils to all those out there and stay healthy~! ^^

Labels: bts, friends, idols, korea, kpop, life, marriage, school, study, suju, wedding

Monday, March 20, 2017

@ 12:39 AM

빛난다

hello.

so its been almost a month since i last blogged and i have reasons for that XD hahaha.

first of all, my final year in ku has been officially and it feels different kind of. being a senior in university and all, you see all the young freshmen all dressed up and anticipating the campus life. its like how we all have been through haha. im currently taking 4 classes- 2 dis classes, 1 media class and for once, a course in korean which is history of korea. lol.

people always think that im crazy or they give me the face like wtf are u taking that class for. well, im pretty sure by now ppl around me know that im very into korean history, especially the goryeo period and with the recent addition of hwarang drama, im kinda more determined to learn abt korean history. i enjoy the class but i also do feel the pressure of listening with other korean students because they all have the basic foundations of korean history back in sec and high sch but here i am this foreigner, using all her knowledge from dramas and wiki. lol. but im staying strong and gonna try my best in keeping up with the class. ^^

next, i have been working for 3 weeks in 1million dance studio and i think theres ups and downs. i have to admit that i lack a lot and i have learnt a lot despite that short 3 weeks. and sometimes it made me feel kind of useless and made me think in the way like why am i lacking so much as compared to other people. the people whom im working with are really nice and i really enjoy their personalities and presence. its interesting to see how everyone has a certain degree of dance background or they do enjoy dancing as a hobby.

i guess this is how u begin with yr first intern position in the society. it makes you think and reflect about yourself. i would not say its an easy job and i believe that i need more communicating skills. the thing is.. i have been living in korea for almost 5 years now and i definitely can say that my korean skills are good. however, whenever it comes to serious business or talks, i tend to stammer and talk crap. like my point doesnt get transferred properly to the recipient. thats why i feel really frustrated abt myself too. sigh.. i guess i just need more confidence. :/ shucks.

despite all these events, ive been trying to keep myself positive by thinking abt bts (lol) and dance. i do miss dancing in beatmix but 1m has its own charms as well. how would i say... its less competitive and no one really judges you as much. haha. but thats my own opinion so im not sure how others would feel when they switch dance studios. im gonna try my best and continue persevere on working hard. its not easy but i believe theres a reason for me to join 1m and hence there will be a way to make things work out.

hwaiting.

Labels: 1million, bts, class, dance, intern, jhope, jimin, jin, jungkook, korea, ku, life, rm, school, senior, spring, suga, v

Sunday, February 26, 2017

@ 9:30 PM

누나의 마음을 이렇게 훔쳐가면 어떻게.. 태형아

hello.

so as u can tell from my picture of the day. lol. yes. i have totally become an army and falling for bts faster than i ever imagined. i dont know why but i think it was because of the mnet broadcast which i went on thursday.

i knew that bts were coming back with spring day and not today but i didnt expect them to be that charismatic. XD lol. ok idk what i am saying anymore because in just a matter of 3 days time i have totally gone head over heels for taehyung. i think the drama hwarang also played a huge role in this kpop fangirling thing again but i think it was the live show that caused me to behave like this. hahahahaha. anw thats for that now.

good news to announce to who ever might be reading this. lol. i know this blog is old and its just for my personal collection and memory sake but yea. whoever is out there.

i am officially an INTERN! YESSSSSS!

and im starting work tmr. kinda excited and nervous at the same time. im not sure what to expect but i think i shouldnt let my guard down. oh before i talked more about the intern and what nots. i would like to give a special mention to my yuna unnie whos currently back in japan. she and i have known each other for almost 4 years and i was talking to her through kakao call on fri.

so yes, ever since she had gotten her master degrees in korean lang teaching degree in ku, she had went back to japan to find a job. it wasnt a smooth process and she went through a lot of trouble in finding the right job because first she wanted to keep it related to her degree and at the same time something that is enjoyable as a job. she has also been teaching korean to jap students as a private tutor and apparently some companies in japan, im not sure if it applies to all? but u cant have double job or sth. so the companies she had applied to all kind of rejected because she said she's teaching korean on sat. most of them tend to want their employees to be available on the weekend i guess. so because of that she was unable to find a proper job until recently. and im really happy for her and im glad that things managed to work out for her.

so i guess my point of mentioning about yuna is the fact that how hard work will always pay off and patience is always a virtue. i guess btw dec last year and this year i have changed a lot and learnt quite a lot from many people around me. my family, close friends in singapore and the people i have met in korea.

when i told her that i passed my interview for my intern as well, she was so happy for me too. its so strange sometimes i feel and kinda funny too. that i clique well with people older with me sometimes. i dont mean like in a bad way but i feel like sometimes am i maturing faster than before or was it because i worry more things than other people. idk. but it feels good to hear that people are sincerely happy for u even though its not happening for them. theres just this pride in your heart.

which brings me to my next point. i attended jam's graduation ceremony yesterday. it was kinda 정신없어 but i thought it should have been much more organised. haha. idk. u know how in singapore, when u graduate, u get to go up to stage and receive yr cert? my dept doesnt have that and u just sit, listen to prof give speeches and clap hand for the graduate school people. and then u get to take photo and leave the theatre. i mean. its a good and bad thing i guess. haha. idk. so u just collect yr cert outside the theatre. but anw~ when i saw his family gathering around him and its like just so heartwarming. its like u finally got yr degree and its the time to pay back in tribute to yr family by finding a job and supporting them. haha idk. such an asian culture but i guess its just deep inside me as well. XD anw, congratulations once again to jam! so proud of him~ ^^

with the graduation ceremony being held yesterday, it just gave me the chills that the winter break is almost over and this coming thursday will be my last spring semester. lol. i have 1 more year to go but its my last spring sem in ku so yea. time really flies huh..

going back to my intern. lol. sorry i kept going here and there. but anw i was actually supposed to receive the results on fri. the ceo told me that latest will be out on fri so for the entire week i was just waiting anxiously for the result. but it didnt not come on fri. so i was feeling really dejected and stuff because i mean, if an employer were to pick u and thought u had potential, they would have made a decision right away right? haha. that was what i thought. anw, so around 2am, i received a text and the ceo told me to reply tmr morning since it was late night. at that moment i was like... what is this. a 2am text with supreme cliffhanger. lol. i swore i couldnt sleep properly last night because of cockroach sound and i kept thinking what could the text mean. lol. this is why its true that girls overthink a lot and freak out during a relationship. but anw back to my point, yea.

i actually only receive the confirmation yesterday night when i received a call from the ceo. at first i couldnt hear properly what he was saying mainly because i think he was outside and there was like cars passing by. so i think when he first announced that i got the intern, i was just like 'neh' cos i couldnt hear properly and i was just going along because it was kind rude/strange to ask can u repeat that? LOL. idk. anw so i was just like in my mind did he say yes or no. XD haha. and i think perhaps because due to my lack of response he kind of repeated it in another way and asked me when i could begin working. that was when i finally realised i got the intern. and he told me he actually thought about whether i was suitable for the job because its still a small company and all but the decision factor was the morality question. he asked me if i would choose to sacrifice the company's profit or the employee's right? its hard because in a company ure supposed to make profits and grow but at the same time, what if u had to neglect some rights for yr employees at the same time. which will u choose? i went with protecting the rights and i guess that was why he chose me.

so, always stick with yr morals and values ^^ haha.

hopefully tmr will turn out fine and this upcoming semester will be a rather busy but fruitful one! ^^

Labels: bts, friends, graduation, intern, internship, kim taehyung, korea, life, university, v

about

you think you know me.

hi my name is Jou Teng and i think koreans are haawt. ;)
i like to eat man tou and drink bubble tea

I was an 엘프 (E.L.F.)
i still take note of 려욱 here and there

호야 from 인피니트 is my new bias. 111228. 리더규 is my 2nd. 3rd Official Inspirit ∞

120323 B.A.P. 힘찬+젤로+대현+종웁

Watch me cheerrox@deviantart.

Dancing is what i like to do. and i want to continue doing it. To some people dancing is a sport, a way to express themselves but to others, it is LIFE.

I love Crescent and im and old girl of ACJC. I love AC Dance Society and my class. I love my og kids and i definitely love my own OGLS. MIZU AND ZURG!

I'm now living in Seoul, a student of Korea Uni Media Dept. I am also on here to fulfill the promise I have for myself. 17th Hip Hop of KUDT. KOREA UNIV DANCE TEAM.

Always keeping the faith.
항상신년울간직해라.

click 'about' and this entire thing will disappear~ *poof* because ive decided to make better use of the space XD

조팅 ♥ Cianra