hello. welcome to my <s>awesome</s> dancerfied-kpopfied blog

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Tuesday, March 06, 2018

@ 11:01 PM

Letting go is such a powerful action

hello.

so i have officially graduated from ku and yes im really done with my school. it still feels surreal but i guess that is how life is. Im doing well, was some up and downs but still doing well.

i guess the main point of this post is to talk abt sth which i hardly talked about previously. i just felt like making a note and keep it as part of memories which i hope i will look back and think abt it next time.

so i met my ex last sat. ha. sth which i had been dreading but i guess its just a matter of time as to when i will see him again. but it was through a kudt gathering and yea. it was awkward for me obviously. cos idk. i had that hatred towards him when we broke like over a year ago. it wasnt a pleasant break up so obviously things were awkward.

anw after awhile, he asked to speak to me privately. i obliged at first of course. because i was like wtf do u want to talk to me abt. and he apologised for what he had done.

if u wanna click pause right there. and think what? didnt u guys break up like over a year ago? yea we did. and since then we have nv spoken at all.

he wanted to say it earlier but didnt know how and when so it had finally happened then. i mean at that time i was like why are u telling me this now when you could have said it wayyyy earlier. but i guess he must have had his situation and thinking. its better than never you know. to realise what you have done wrong.

i told him theres nth he could have done or changed now but thanked him for letting me now.

i was kinda angry for awhile because i was like why did u effing spoil my night when i was talking to my other dance mates.

but then i guess i thought abt it on sunday. and monday. and i thought i was going to hate him more but somehow this thing in my chest got lifted. like idk how to describe. like i have finally let go off sth which i had held back in for so long.

i think i am surprised by myself as well. after this whole year, i just needed an apology to let go of what i had been holding back down. strange but i felt better too. somehow. we were both childish back then, our first relationship and i couldnt help but blame him. haha. looking back, that was all i could have done.

i guess God plays a part here again. forgive and love.

and i never knew forgiveness is such a powerful thing until that night. so like, i have been watching temptation of a wife. you guys may know that drama. its a pretty classical korean drama and its abt revenge and stuff etc. and it also showed how revenge breeds more revenge etc.

i guess i won. haha. kind of. he admitted he was at fault and sorry for what he had done. but what else could i have wished. afterall, its life. i cant hate him forever or anything or avoid him whenever i go for kudt gatherings. i will be the childish looking one if it ever happens. like i guess me myself forgive him unconsciously and that is what i am very intrigued about.

well, you learn new things every day.

love myself. love yourself.

Labels: graduation, korea, ku, life, love, relationship, school, university

Monday, May 01, 2017

@ 9:58 PM

꽃처럼 아름답게

hello

its been a long while once again. so ive been pretty alright~ just studying and doing stuff which i have never done before and doing stuff which i have never thought i would be doing again.

so i shall begin with the most recent event which was going to a club. lol. ive been to a club back in sg when i turned 18 but that was like almost 6 years ago?? and i was really young and i didnt know what and how to enjoy clubbing. but now im feeling it. XD haha. no its more like i know how to play and at the same time watch out for yourself and your friends.

so jan, ara and mirah we all met up at anam and then we went to hangang at first because there was a free event by kuba and then we could just get in for free. it was actually held on a cruise boat and i swear i have never been to that part of the han river before. i would say its pretty cool but idk why i feel weird seeing people who were in the same class as u there and u just awkwardly have eye contact with them but u dont really know if u should say hi or not.. so im like.. hmmm. XD and because it was on a cruise?? so there was not much of the dance floor like a real club. so we actually just went there to take pics and then we left. we headed down to the food court area below and we ate thai food. it was claimed by jan to be legit. and i do agree because its one of the best pad thai which i had ever tried in korea. i need to head over bangkok one day. i swear why did i not go to thailand when i was still in sg last time? XD

lovely s.e.a. team

and then we head to itaewon. and since ara is working in 'made' she managed to get us free entry and that was when it began. hahahaha. i would say i was surprised by the club culture in itaewon. oh yea before that. i have to say the clubbing areas are usually, hongdae, gangnam, kondae as well as itaewon in seoul. but if i were to stereotype the clubs, hongdae usually is more for younger ppl and its more... touchy? i heard. and as for gangnam, its where the richer people and celebrities hang out. kondae is more of university ppl i guess.. kinda similar to hongdae. and for itaewon, they have more lgbt clubs and clubs targeted for foreigners.

so the interesting and unique thing about 'made' is that the club is separated into 2 different sections. one side plays hiphop music and the other side plays edm. i thought i would have enjoyed the hiphop side more but when i headed over to the edm side everything seemed to be much more fun. hahaha. i think because the beats were really sick and u know when u are a street dancer u would want to match the beats XD

however that is not the main point of my post today. i feel like i had observed something abt girls who club in korea. maybe im generalising but this is what i felt after going clubbing. i guess its naturally for girls to dress up nicely in short and tight dresses which accentuate their figures but i feel like because of the restriction of the dress, you cant really have fun. well for me, i wore black skinnys with a black loose blouse with black walkers. but i could really dance and have fun with my frens because i werent worried abt exposing parts of my body which i was uncomfortable with. but when i turned around and see the girls around me, they were just like bouncing and waiting for guys to approach them. well, i guess everyone has different motivations when they head to clubs. mine was just to have fun with my frens and check out the korean clubbing culture. but i guess for others it might be hooking up and having a fling. well, i dont support it but i also believe at the same time its totally up to the person to judge as long as u feel alright with doing such actions.

but one thing which i wasnt quite happy was when some guys try to 'take' my frens away in a rude manner. i would think its basic manners to approach guys in a less scary manner instead of just tugging my fren's arms and expecting girls to follow u. like seriously??? so we ended up having to prey my fren's arms away from his hands. wtf. haha. but besides that it was fun. there were also many funny episodes but i guess i should just keep them to myself haha.

well i go back again? yes. but maybe not so often. lol. im getting old and i think i need more than a day to recover from so much dancing. hahahahahaha. and my ears. XD and the smoke. oh yea the smoke. gosh.... i didnt know u can smoke inside clubs in korea. or is it just me?? does sg clubs allow that? i had no idea. and i thought i was gonna die inside. lol.

but the shit and the thing which really made me feel sick was when we were taking a cab back home together. with me jan and ara. mirah went back home first cos we kind of lost her in the club. lol. we tried to find her but couldnt. and guys. pls try not to go alone in a cab after clubbing or late at night cos it might be really dangerous. esp for girls.

i feel like the taxi ahjussi was like seeing us just finished clubbing and i swore his attitude sucks from the beginning. and he tried to put on the seat belt for ara and he touched jan's leg. i think its kinda long to explain what happened and how it happened but it did. so i was really shocked and at the point of time i really felt like shouting at him but at the same time i thought abt the possibilities of what could have happened if i did. because ara was sitting infront and jan and i were at the back seats. would i cause him to become agitated and would that result in a car accident and cause even more harm to us. or does he have like a small knife or weapon holding in his possession? u never know. so i really tried to stay calm and i swear every time i feel nervous i can tell like my stomach gets really scrunched up. bad sign. and so i told alex to call me because for some reason i cannot press call on my phone and this showed how panicky i was XD sigh. but he did call me and i explained the current situation in chinese cos u never know if he knows english. so yea. we took a photo of the license plate after that. it was the worst taxi ride i ever had in korea out of my almost 5 years here.

the thing was i felt really helpless. i couldnt do anything and i think its really mean for ppl to take advantage of such situations. really? thinking that because we are female foreigners we dont know what is sexual harrassment and where we can complain? and furthermore this semester im taking human rights class. talking abt this right now again makes me mad. really. sometimes i just feel like this world... brings disappointment to u but at the same time it really just shows u how some people are really like. the sick thing of what the taxi ahjussi said was 'its nice to be young' wow. wowwwwww. and yes hes old. thats why it made me feel even more disgusted. urghhhh

so in conclusion. becareful everywhere u go. like u might think its safe but its not. and dont drink drinks from guys who u have never seen before and dont take it! and be aware of yr drink. dont leave it on an empty table and go back to it after awhile. i mean i might be over suspicious and stuff but i believe its really better to be sure than sorry. u know.

i think ive spent more than an hour writing this blog here and there haha. yes.

work hard live hard!

Labels: club, friends, itaewon, korea, ku, life, night life, school, university

Sunday, February 26, 2017

@ 9:30 PM

누나의 마음을 이렇게 훔쳐가면 어떻게.. 태형아

hello.

so as u can tell from my picture of the day. lol. yes. i have totally become an army and falling for bts faster than i ever imagined. i dont know why but i think it was because of the mnet broadcast which i went on thursday.

i knew that bts were coming back with spring day and not today but i didnt expect them to be that charismatic. XD lol. ok idk what i am saying anymore because in just a matter of 3 days time i have totally gone head over heels for taehyung. i think the drama hwarang also played a huge role in this kpop fangirling thing again but i think it was the live show that caused me to behave like this. hahahahaha. anw thats for that now.

good news to announce to who ever might be reading this. lol. i know this blog is old and its just for my personal collection and memory sake but yea. whoever is out there.

i am officially an INTERN! YESSSSSS!

and im starting work tmr. kinda excited and nervous at the same time. im not sure what to expect but i think i shouldnt let my guard down. oh before i talked more about the intern and what nots. i would like to give a special mention to my yuna unnie whos currently back in japan. she and i have known each other for almost 4 years and i was talking to her through kakao call on fri.

so yes, ever since she had gotten her master degrees in korean lang teaching degree in ku, she had went back to japan to find a job. it wasnt a smooth process and she went through a lot of trouble in finding the right job because first she wanted to keep it related to her degree and at the same time something that is enjoyable as a job. she has also been teaching korean to jap students as a private tutor and apparently some companies in japan, im not sure if it applies to all? but u cant have double job or sth. so the companies she had applied to all kind of rejected because she said she's teaching korean on sat. most of them tend to want their employees to be available on the weekend i guess. so because of that she was unable to find a proper job until recently. and im really happy for her and im glad that things managed to work out for her.

so i guess my point of mentioning about yuna is the fact that how hard work will always pay off and patience is always a virtue. i guess btw dec last year and this year i have changed a lot and learnt quite a lot from many people around me. my family, close friends in singapore and the people i have met in korea.

when i told her that i passed my interview for my intern as well, she was so happy for me too. its so strange sometimes i feel and kinda funny too. that i clique well with people older with me sometimes. i dont mean like in a bad way but i feel like sometimes am i maturing faster than before or was it because i worry more things than other people. idk. but it feels good to hear that people are sincerely happy for u even though its not happening for them. theres just this pride in your heart.

which brings me to my next point. i attended jam's graduation ceremony yesterday. it was kinda 정신없어 but i thought it should have been much more organised. haha. idk. u know how in singapore, when u graduate, u get to go up to stage and receive yr cert? my dept doesnt have that and u just sit, listen to prof give speeches and clap hand for the graduate school people. and then u get to take photo and leave the theatre. i mean. its a good and bad thing i guess. haha. idk. so u just collect yr cert outside the theatre. but anw~ when i saw his family gathering around him and its like just so heartwarming. its like u finally got yr degree and its the time to pay back in tribute to yr family by finding a job and supporting them. haha idk. such an asian culture but i guess its just deep inside me as well. XD anw, congratulations once again to jam! so proud of him~ ^^

with the graduation ceremony being held yesterday, it just gave me the chills that the winter break is almost over and this coming thursday will be my last spring semester. lol. i have 1 more year to go but its my last spring sem in ku so yea. time really flies huh..

going back to my intern. lol. sorry i kept going here and there. but anw i was actually supposed to receive the results on fri. the ceo told me that latest will be out on fri so for the entire week i was just waiting anxiously for the result. but it didnt not come on fri. so i was feeling really dejected and stuff because i mean, if an employer were to pick u and thought u had potential, they would have made a decision right away right? haha. that was what i thought. anw, so around 2am, i received a text and the ceo told me to reply tmr morning since it was late night. at that moment i was like... what is this. a 2am text with supreme cliffhanger. lol. i swore i couldnt sleep properly last night because of cockroach sound and i kept thinking what could the text mean. lol. this is why its true that girls overthink a lot and freak out during a relationship. but anw back to my point, yea.

i actually only receive the confirmation yesterday night when i received a call from the ceo. at first i couldnt hear properly what he was saying mainly because i think he was outside and there was like cars passing by. so i think when he first announced that i got the intern, i was just like 'neh' cos i couldnt hear properly and i was just going along because it was kind rude/strange to ask can u repeat that? LOL. idk. anw so i was just like in my mind did he say yes or no. XD haha. and i think perhaps because due to my lack of response he kind of repeated it in another way and asked me when i could begin working. that was when i finally realised i got the intern. and he told me he actually thought about whether i was suitable for the job because its still a small company and all but the decision factor was the morality question. he asked me if i would choose to sacrifice the company's profit or the employee's right? its hard because in a company ure supposed to make profits and grow but at the same time, what if u had to neglect some rights for yr employees at the same time. which will u choose? i went with protecting the rights and i guess that was why he chose me.

so, always stick with yr morals and values ^^ haha.

hopefully tmr will turn out fine and this upcoming semester will be a rather busy but fruitful one! ^^

Labels: bts, friends, graduation, intern, internship, kim taehyung, korea, life, university, v

Friday, January 13, 2017

@ 2:52 PM

이제 어디로 가야되나요?

hello.

so happy 2017! after a really really dramatic and eventful 2016, im glad to say that im really grateful for the new year new beginning hype which most of the people do have at the start of the new year. anw im currently back in singapore for a month before i have to head back to korea to start my last year after university before finally graduating. honestly, i feel like because of the things which happened throughout my times in korea, i feel like i finally know what i want and i have learnt so much.

first of all, im grateful that im finally got myself a new phone after 3.5 years of using my samsung s3. ikr. you must be thinking whats wrong with this girl, why shes using a phone for so long. lol. I have my own reasons and mostly it was because in korea, you cant sign a contract with a telecomm for a 2 years plan because they scared you might suddenly leave korea and then you dont pay the rest etc. so if i have to buy a new phone, i have to buy it as an empty phone, so let say im getting an iphone 7 and usually if its with a plan, it might costs around $400-500 sgd but NO! in korea it can hit up to $1k sgd. so yea. my dad told me to get a new phone when im back and yes im back! and i got a new phone. and yes i did get an iphone 7~ /drums roll/ plus, its rose gold!

the downside for now is that i cant use kakao, whatsapp, and all others apps which require me to verify because my kakao and whatsapp acc are linked to my korean number which i cannot receive verficiation messages back in singapore. so rightnow, im just using it to play with fb, instagram and siri. LOL. siri is so interesting. XD haha but anw yup. and that is that.

the other thing which is currently getting my attention a lot lately is actually lipsticks. lol. idk why but ever since ive began school in ku, most of the korean girls i have met they use lip tints, the watery kind and some times they use the more liquidity kind. and yes, i did follow the trend, i'd tried innisfree, the face shop, tony moly, labiotte (the wine looking one) but then i realised the down side of lip tint. they made my lips dry after awhile and theres always this awkward stripe of lip tint after a few hours because either you ate or you drank something. and esp for me, my lips get dry easily and sometimes it just peels off, theres some lip discolouration also.

back at the start of 2016, i bought my very first expensive lipstick from sephora when i was still in singapore, its from 'tarte', a us brand i believe. costed $26 if im not wrong and i really like the colour and its very mositurising but the colour doesnt stay. so thats really sad. i usually use it sometimes when i need to go out just for awhile but not for like a long period of time. and so, ive been on the search for lipstick which has good colour lasting power and at the same time doesnt make my lips super dry. i was initially attracted to ysl because of the super pretty limited edition packaging but when i found out about it, it was already sold out and those who resell them online, asked for 80kwon minimum. thats like woa. my dance lessons fee for a month. but anw the usually price for ysl is around 45k and i thought about it for a long time. people in life have many wants but those are not needs. do i want a ysl lipstick? yes i do, perhaps in the future when i can afford it. right now i feel like, im just attracted to this 'brand' thing that ysl has and spending money on things i cannot afford will just make me a terrible daughter. lol.

and with that said, i initially didnt want to look up on mac because i thought mac is just matte. and matte doesnt make the cut for my lips. but then again, i was just like meh~ just give it a try. and i looked up on yt and search for reviews and i realised they had so many different kinds of lipsticks. haha. so i ended purchasing one at the online duty free shop when i was back in korea, and u know what. please purchase your goods online because there is so much more discount than when u do it offline. i managed to receive discount up till 23k. 23K DO U HEAR ME. thats almost like a free mac lipstick. so yea. lol. my sis asked me to get her a benefit concealer and i bought some green tea spread and banila co eyeliner because its like almost 9k won cheaper in duty free??? ok i feel like im going out of point but anw yes. there was like free 23k won for me to reduce from the total i had to pay, plus it was slightly cheaper than the original price at the market.

going back. the mac lipstick which i had purchase is in the colour #brave, satin version. i found this pic on google so yea its not mine XD kinda like this brownish pinkish tone and slightly subtle for this natural look. i guess? lol. i wanted to go for 'twig' or 'faux' but they were all sold out and then i found out twig was famous because i think it was keylie(?) pls correct me if im wrong, wore that colour and everyone became crazy over it. and faux i think was because its just a nice colour.

and this brings me to another point about this lipstick crave i have right now, i want to get another lipstick from 3ce. i have never been a fan of 3ce. LOL. because once again, its super dry and matte but because they came up with this lily maymac edition i was honestly attracted to the colour and shade they have. plus it only costs 17k in korea. i wasnt able to buy it in the airport because it was all sold out so i was like urghhhhhhh. wasted. duty free shop only price for 13k but i think i will just get it when i go back to korea and see if i have any fate with that lipstick.

so yea brand new phone, new lipstick to begin with the new year. im really grateful for those. i cant wait to officially use my phone because i feel like without my messaging apps, im still really attached and dependent on my s3 for now. lol.

actually i also wanted to talk about my plans for my future but i have been typing on and off for the past hour and so and now im just feeling very sleepy suddenly. lol. i guess im just gonna make it short and summarise with what i wanted to do.

i was planning to go back into writing and editing because idk. it just suddenly all came back to me. i used to enjoy writing fanfics and blogging and doing free translation jobs in forums. i guess when i was back in korea i was just focusing on the things i want to achieve but cannot achieve and perhaps just the wrong things. i feel like i have a goal right now and honestly despite having it, i still do feel insecure. im not sure how i should do it and where to start. but i guess just taking baby steps for now would do the job. i plan to read more books first and research more about writing and editing jobs before i plan for my next step. yup. thats all for now. ^^

not hundred percent back to myself since 2016 but hoping to become a better and improved person with much more insight this year ^^

cheers to a happy new year~

Labels: 2017, 3ce, iphone 7, korea, life, lipstick, mac, plans, singapore, university, ysl

Saturday, May 26, 2012

@ 12:42 AM

∞

hello.

i have decided to blog so late at the middle of the night/morning because i doubt i will have anytime to blog this week anymore maybe until like my next off day which is next tues~~~...yea. so tiring T.T

finally i can say this officially or more like say it to my frens who have been asking me where im going for uni. im going to korea. DENG DENG DENG. finally. omg. ive been waiting for this day since forever. there had been a lot of issues btw me and my family.. more like btw me and my mum which explains the emo previous post. but oh well. i hope it will be over soon. but i forsee another storm coming soon. :/ not sure which uni yet but its most likely snu. cos yonsei have some issues with me and the tuition payment @__@ idk why they want me to pay the day after i have applied for their course. aiyo.. anw hopefully i will update abt this soon.

and i just realised how i thought i have always ignore my dad in a sense. like i tend to hang out with my mum more often. im a bad daughter.lol. cos a few days ago my sis graduated from poly and yea i didnt attend her grad ceremony cos it was my off day and i settling the korea application stuff like mad. telegraphic transfer is crazy. nearly spent an hour at the post office. and sleeping at 1am is really not cool. kk. i need to switch my sleeping hours back to 11pm. anw thats not the point. what i wanna say is my dad is bringing me and my sis to eat tmr for lunch~~~ <3 haha. i mean cos im working until 10 tmr also so yea only can make it for lunch ^^ and honestly i think this whole uni thing is bringing my family-awareness- thing up a higher level. idk how to explain this but uhh... lol. I LOVE U DADDY! XD

yea. what else. have i announced i got hoya as my hidden track for infinitize? LOL. and the rest of my infinite albums have arrived? XD haha. kk. and 'the chaser' is only no. 5 on mubank. freaking out!!!! they need to hit top 3!!! need to play my part as international fan already. ~~gotta buy more albums.~~ oh yea. lol. wait its 12.34 am now. LOL. XD ok. lame. anw yea. im having some financial crisis now. LOL. i cant spend so much money and i hate to withdraw money. zzz. shows that my savings is decreasing and i havent buy flowers yet~~~~~ bailamos is coming next thurs! i think im getting maria and red rose. 40 stalks. sorry sharon i dont think i can get a bouquet for u T.T too ex already~~~~ mianhe~~~

oh dam. God really loves me. He said this to me today

'You can take a break from working so hard.

Pause, rest, reconnect with your loved ones,

share a slow meal, or just go out into the nature and breathe fresh air.'

amen.

Labels: family, god, hoya, infinite, infinitize, korea, life, ranking king, snu, university

about

you think you know me.

hi my name is Jou Teng and i think koreans are haawt. ;)
i like to eat man tou and drink bubble tea

I was an 엘프 (E.L.F.)
i still take note of 려욱 here and there

호야 from 인피니트 is my new bias. 111228. 리더규 is my 2nd. 3rd Official Inspirit ∞

120323 B.A.P. 힘찬+젤로+대현+종웁

Watch me cheerrox@deviantart.

Dancing is what i like to do. and i want to continue doing it. To some people dancing is a sport, a way to express themselves but to others, it is LIFE.

I love Crescent and im and old girl of ACJC. I love AC Dance Society and my class. I love my og kids and i definitely love my own OGLS. MIZU AND ZURG!

I'm now living in Seoul, a student of Korea Uni Media Dept. I am also on here to fulfill the promise I have for myself. 17th Hip Hop of KUDT. KOREA UNIV DANCE TEAM.

Always keeping the faith.
항상신년울간직해라.

click 'about' and this entire thing will disappear~ *poof* because ive decided to make better use of the space XD

조팅 ♥ Cianra