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Sunday, April 12, 2020
@ 2:02 PM

I think the very first time when I started to blog was to sort of pen down the thoughts I had when I was a 13 year old kid who just started attending secondary school.

I always knew that I will forget the things that happened and I thought one of the best options was to type and deposit my memories and things that happened in school and stuff on the internet. I don't think I ever regret starting a blog because it had allowed me to go through my thoughts and think about the stuff that was in my mind.

Who knew that about... 14 years later, I am now writing at the exact some blog, thinking about my life in the future.

It has only been 4 months into 2020 and it hadn't been that smooth. I believe that many would say that if they had a rewind button, they would want to go back to the end of 2019 and start all over again. Do I want to do the same thing?

Maybe... or maybe not.

Ever since a long time ago (I think), there had been a few movies that talked about travelling back in time to make up for some of the mistakes people made etc. Time machines were built and the main character would travel back so that they could apologise to people, save someone from a fatal accident, say 'I love you' to their dearest and so on. I mean I guess I understand the reasons why they plan and want to go back in time. I'm sure deep down inside anyone, all of us have that moment we would want to return.

I do too.

But I guess the past is the past and there is no point in dwelling in the past. It is part of life. We all make mistakes, we all make tough decisions.

I haven't look back at the posts which I had written back in 2012 because that was when I thought maybe my posts were the cringy-est. It was the time when I had made my first step into Korea.

Can you believe it has been 8 years since I had decided to just switch my life, run away from whatever I was running away? I was only 18 and I guess it's possible.

If I were 18 once again, I doubt I would have the courage to do so. Strange but yes. 18 was a powerful and beautiful time in life. I was daring, I didn't care what people think, I hurt a lot of people, most probably my family when I said I wanted to go to Korea to just do something which I thought it was my dream.

I still remembered the time when a lot of my close friends thought that I was out of my mind and that I had fallen too deeply into K-Pop idols. Yes, it's true.

But I guess maybe perhaps due to my venture into the unknown, I had been through so, so much. It's hard to explain but I guess when you decided to just start a new life in a foreign country, you thought you could do literally anything.

It's true and it was really an adventure I would say. And also an achievement which I never thought I would have imagined.

Well, I think the time has come. I'm not sure when but I feel like it's time to go back into the home which had given me the love I'd thought I never had and I'd been taken for granted.

A new change awaits for me and I honestly am not sure if I am able to handle it well. I think I can. I hope I can. And I will.

I want to become the person when I go back that says 'I didn't regret going away for 8 years' because I have learned so so so much if I had decided to stay in Singapore.

1 Corinthians 13:13

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about
you think you know me.

hi my name is Jou Teng and i think koreans are haawt. ;)
i like to eat man tou and drink bubble tea

I was an 엘프 (E.L.F.)
i still take note of 려욱 here and there

호야 from 인피니트 is my new bias. 111228. 리더규 is my 2nd. 3rd Official Inspirit ∞

120323 B.A.P. 힘찬+젤로+대현+종웁

Watch me cheerrox@deviantart.

Dancing is what i like to do. and i want to continue doing it. To some people dancing is a sport, a way to express themselves but to others, it is LIFE.

I love Crescent and im and old girl of ACJC. I love AC Dance Society and my class. I love my og kids and i definitely love my own OGLS. MIZU AND ZURG!

I'm now living in Seoul, a student of Korea Uni Media Dept. I am also on here to fulfill the promise I have for myself. 17th Hip Hop of KUDT. KOREA UNIV DANCE TEAM.

Always keeping the faith.
항상신년울간직해라.

click 'about' and this entire thing will disappear~ *poof* because ive decided to make better use of the space XD
조팅 ♥ Cianra