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Tuesday, March 06, 2018

@ 11:01 PM

Letting go is such a powerful action

hello.

so i have officially graduated from ku and yes im really done with my school. it still feels surreal but i guess that is how life is. Im doing well, was some up and downs but still doing well.

i guess the main point of this post is to talk abt sth which i hardly talked about previously. i just felt like making a note and keep it as part of memories which i hope i will look back and think abt it next time.

so i met my ex last sat. ha. sth which i had been dreading but i guess its just a matter of time as to when i will see him again. but it was through a kudt gathering and yea. it was awkward for me obviously. cos idk. i had that hatred towards him when we broke like over a year ago. it wasnt a pleasant break up so obviously things were awkward.

anw after awhile, he asked to speak to me privately. i obliged at first of course. because i was like wtf do u want to talk to me abt. and he apologised for what he had done.

if u wanna click pause right there. and think what? didnt u guys break up like over a year ago? yea we did. and since then we have nv spoken at all.

he wanted to say it earlier but didnt know how and when so it had finally happened then. i mean at that time i was like why are u telling me this now when you could have said it wayyyy earlier. but i guess he must have had his situation and thinking. its better than never you know. to realise what you have done wrong.

i told him theres nth he could have done or changed now but thanked him for letting me now.

i was kinda angry for awhile because i was like why did u effing spoil my night when i was talking to my other dance mates.

but then i guess i thought abt it on sunday. and monday. and i thought i was going to hate him more but somehow this thing in my chest got lifted. like idk how to describe. like i have finally let go off sth which i had held back in for so long.

i think i am surprised by myself as well. after this whole year, i just needed an apology to let go of what i had been holding back down. strange but i felt better too. somehow. we were both childish back then, our first relationship and i couldnt help but blame him. haha. looking back, that was all i could have done.

i guess God plays a part here again. forgive and love.

and i never knew forgiveness is such a powerful thing until that night. so like, i have been watching temptation of a wife. you guys may know that drama. its a pretty classical korean drama and its abt revenge and stuff etc. and it also showed how revenge breeds more revenge etc.

i guess i won. haha. kind of. he admitted he was at fault and sorry for what he had done. but what else could i have wished. afterall, its life. i cant hate him forever or anything or avoid him whenever i go for kudt gatherings. i will be the childish looking one if it ever happens. like i guess me myself forgive him unconsciously and that is what i am very intrigued about.

well, you learn new things every day.

love myself. love yourself.

Labels: graduation, korea, ku, life, love, relationship, school, university

about

you think you know me.

hi my name is Jou Teng and i think koreans are haawt. ;)
i like to eat man tou and drink bubble tea

I was an 엘프 (E.L.F.)
i still take note of 려욱 here and there

호야 from 인피니트 is my new bias. 111228. 리더규 is my 2nd. 3rd Official Inspirit ∞

120323 B.A.P. 힘찬+젤로+대현+종웁

Watch me cheerrox@deviantart.

Dancing is what i like to do. and i want to continue doing it. To some people dancing is a sport, a way to express themselves but to others, it is LIFE.

I love Crescent and im and old girl of ACJC. I love AC Dance Society and my class. I love my og kids and i definitely love my own OGLS. MIZU AND ZURG!

I'm now living in Seoul, a student of Korea Uni Media Dept. I am also on here to fulfill the promise I have for myself. 17th Hip Hop of KUDT. KOREA UNIV DANCE TEAM.

Always keeping the faith.
항상신년울간직해라.

click 'about' and this entire thing will disappear~ *poof* because ive decided to make better use of the space XD

조팅 ♥ Cianra