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Wednesday, October 04, 2017

@ 10:10 PM

셀레는 만큼 많이 두려워

hello

so it has been ages~ since i last updated this blog. haha. im not sure who still reads it but yea im back for an update.

a lot of things had happened since i last blogged. i'm currently at my last semester of university and can you believe thats already happening? lol. i cant believe its been more than 5 years since i came to korea and the next thing i knew, im already finishing my last sem, submitting resumes to companies, looking for a job etc. wow. time sure flies when you arent aware of it.

honestly 2017 has been going through like a buzz. i already kinda knew this may or may not be my last year here in korea, im hoping not because i want to stay and find a job here before going back to sg. so yea in any case, i have been kind of treasuring the moments which i have in korea right now. a lot of things had happened which made me feel that way and i think it took me some time to realise that. and i think once u start treasuring those stuff, life seems to get better. haha. well, thats at least what i think.

recently the thing which has been on my mind is dance. haha. surprisingly because i bet those who still follow me on insta know that im crazy over bts these days. i still am, its just i suddenly have a lot of thoughts of fangirling vs reality. so the thing is i recently finished my performance for ku vs yonsei games and ive been thinking its most probably gonna be my last performance this year? maybe. but idk. i feel like because of job applications and everything i have this internal conflict abt me dancing and me facing the reality. i realised that i dont think i can put a restriction on myself dancing because theres just this part of me which still want to dance badly. i mean i can pause for awhile but i dont think i can say it will be the last time for me. and so ever though i wrote those kind of post on fb and insta i feel like i will still perform at kudt annual concert most probably at the year end. LOL. i was looking at other seniors and they already graduated yes. but they still take the time and effort to come out to practice and i thought abt it and im like why cant i do that too. sure they are koreans and they already have a house to stay and most probably would not have as much issues as i have but its because of the passion they have thats why they are still coming back to kudt even though they have already graduated etc. so i guess theres no way to stop someone from doing sth which they really like.

im not sure if u guys know this program called 'idol school' but its apparently mnet's newest form of selecting girls to debut as idol. its kinda similar to produce 101 but like a school girl concept. so anyway, this girl who was from produce 101 went to idol sch again but got eliminated again so she didnt get to debut in the end. i didnt watch the show till the end but i just follow the news. shes a year younger than me and the other time i casually commented to my frens that maybe she should just resort to fate and take it that shes not meant to debut. but after that i felt bad for saying that because i just kinda of sabotage myself too. so yes, i sincerely apologise for that comment. because i dont think its possible to stop someone from achieving what they want until they really get it. its sad to see how many times she had tried to reach out for her dream but fate is not in her way. her courage to keep going really amazes me and i really feel bad for saying sth like that.

i guess it really depends on how much you want to achieve something. if it kept pulling u back and discourage u from doing sth its ok to stop and rest for awhile. perhaps reset yr goals and think abt future strategies on how to deal with it. well, thats what i have been doing. and i think its getting better. or at least i hope. XD i mean ive been getting rejected from companies for a job and i think its ok for that to happen. ive seen many frens who submitted almost 100 applications and they only get call back from a few companies who seemed to be interested. i guess eveyrthing just goes back to failing and getting back up. its up to how much u want to commit and far u are willing to go. i think these days im pretty positive, its just i freak out easily from time to time XD its ok. i will get better and deal with all these stuff i hope ^^

and i think i kinda figure out why i enjoy blogging for the past 10 years. it kinda gets me to sort out my thoughts much more easier because i put them down into words. i get to picture it much more easier which i guess its a good way for me to think abt stuff. haha. yup.

i think i will most probably try and revive this blog asap when i get the time XD but anw, those who still read. thank you. XD

cheers haha.

Labels: bts, dance, friends, job, korea, ku, life

about

you think you know me.

hi my name is Jou Teng and i think koreans are haawt. ;)
i like to eat man tou and drink bubble tea

I was an 엘프 (E.L.F.)
i still take note of 려욱 here and there

호야 from 인피니트 is my new bias. 111228. 리더규 is my 2nd. 3rd Official Inspirit ∞

120323 B.A.P. 힘찬+젤로+대현+종웁

Watch me cheerrox@deviantart.

Dancing is what i like to do. and i want to continue doing it. To some people dancing is a sport, a way to express themselves but to others, it is LIFE.

I love Crescent and im and old girl of ACJC. I love AC Dance Society and my class. I love my og kids and i definitely love my own OGLS. MIZU AND ZURG!

I'm now living in Seoul, a student of Korea Uni Media Dept. I am also on here to fulfill the promise I have for myself. 17th Hip Hop of KUDT. KOREA UNIV DANCE TEAM.

Always keeping the faith.
항상신년울간직해라.

click 'about' and this entire thing will disappear~ *poof* because ive decided to make better use of the space XD

조팅 ♥ Cianra