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Saturday, January 20, 2018
@ 9:40 PM


좋은 날 더 많기를

hello~! 
first blog post of the year and i think i should just start with what i have been doing since i came back from Taiwan.

Well, I would say taiwan trip was a rather eye opening trip and i definitely would want to go back again and stay for an even longer period of time. i think one week was definitely too short and i still have many places i havent explore yet. 

I thought things were well with the company which im currently working with and the thing with korea working its very complicated and so right now, im going to find another company. i was really devastated and stressed out actually when i thought abt all these things last week but im ok now. I think there was a night when jungkook uploaded a cover of lee hi's 'breathe' on twitter, i legit broke down after hearing it because it just gave me so much comfort. 

i used to think everything would work out fine with this company but there was also a certain point in time when i asked myself if this was really what i feel like doing. i mean it was fine doing the stuff which i am doing but i feel like there isnt much thing for me to explore within my job scope. but right now im also confused and kinda lost as to what kind of job i want to do and it just feels quite meh to start job seeking all over again. 

but i think for sure which i realised is that im slowly beginning to understand myself what kind of job im enjoying and what kind of job i like. i think im more into meeting ppl and going out, rather than working in office. of course, sometimes i would prefer staying in the office too but i think im someone who cannot stay in the office 24/7. so right now im kinda... worried too. LOL. as to what kind of job im more suited to.. sigh. i think its really not easy. 

im hoping that this is a blessing in disguise. i think maybe god is giving me one more chance to go and explore what i want to do within the next 6 mths before i really settle down on sth. idk what but idk why theres this part of me hoping that some of the dance groups which ive always been following would open up audition soon. sigh... idk why theres this still part of me which still wants me to try out for audition. ever since abt 2 years ago..? wow. 2 years ago. i was kind of staying away from that kind of thoughts of being a bg dancer but i guess that part of me came back. sigh.. why is it so hard~~ 

i had dinner with jan and princess today and all of us seemed have our own area of concerns. but the interesting thing is all of us admit that korea life seemed way better because we had each other. haha. some may wonder why i would say that. but its true. i dont think anyone would be convinced until he or she experienced it themselves. but i guess its because we have each other thats why we felt like we are not alone. i have to give kudos to bts too. (haha im bringing them up again) but i guess because i feel like there is still sth for me to do here in korea, thats why im still making myself stay there. if not i dont see why too. maybe. im not sure. but right now im just slowly figuring up what i can and cannot do. 

it will definitely be another interesting and challenging year. not giving up though. cos its life ^^ and its beautiful despite all this hardships and shit sometimes. 

cheers. 

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Saturday, November 11, 2017
@ 12:38 AM



hello. 
its been a long while again and here i am back again contemplating about life. well... things had not been going smooth as what i had predicted and yea honestly i would say i am in a life crisis? ha.. 
i realised im really into going the way of journalism but uh.. i havent got the chance to do so? so far i have been doing online marketing for the past two interns but it was for maybe a month? the reality had pushed me so much that recruiters told me that those are just part time and not real jobs. i know i shouldnt be so affected by what they said but it just somehow did. 

i was telling dixxon abt what happened to do and he told me about how we kinda had been living in our own 'circle' even though we have been living in korea for 5 years. wow. like it just hit me and slapped me right in the face. 

the 'we' which i wrote here refers to storytellers. i mean we have been 'protecting' ourselves and each other for the past 4 years. whenever sth happened to us, we honestly depend on each other because who else would understand us better than us?? so yea. i guess we were kinda strong in terms of protection that we didnt actually step out of our comfort zone and break into the korean society which we have been living in. i know this sounds kind of abstract but i feel that its rather true. 

so right now. like now. im kinda lost i would say. i feel like i wont be able to work in a super koreanised company and i cant do marketing. lol. idk. its just hard to explain sometimes what koreans really want. 

interesting really. i thought i have been living in korea for at least the past 4 years because i had much more interactions with koreans since i joined dt. but then again after this 4 years, im on my way to step into the new world. the real korean world perhaps? 

it hits you hard and right smack in the face. oh lord. i just hope i would be able to handle that fall. 

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Wednesday, October 04, 2017
@ 10:10 PM

셀레는 만큼 많이 두려워

hello
so it has been ages~ since i last updated this blog. haha. im not sure who still reads it but yea im back for an update. 

a lot of things had happened since i last blogged. i'm currently at my last semester of university and can you believe thats already happening? lol. i cant believe its been more than 5 years since i came to korea and the next thing i knew, im already finishing my last sem, submitting resumes to companies, looking for a job etc. wow. time sure flies when you arent aware of it. 

honestly 2017 has been going through like a buzz. i already kinda knew this may or may not be my last year here in korea, im hoping not because i want to stay and find a job here before going back to sg. so yea in any case, i have been kind of treasuring the moments which i have in korea right now. a lot of things had happened which made me feel that way and i think it took me some time to realise that. and i think once u start treasuring those stuff, life seems to get better. haha. well, thats at least what i think. 

recently the thing which has been on my mind is dance. haha. surprisingly because i bet those who still follow me on insta know that im crazy over bts these days. i still am, its just i suddenly have a lot of thoughts of fangirling vs reality. so the thing is i recently finished my performance for ku vs yonsei games and ive been thinking its most probably gonna be my last performance this year? maybe. but idk. i feel like because of job applications and everything i have this internal conflict abt me dancing and me facing the reality. i realised that i dont think i can put a restriction on myself dancing because theres just this part of me which still want to dance badly. i mean i can pause for awhile but i dont think i can say it will be the last time for me. and so ever though i wrote those kind of post on fb and insta i feel like i will still perform at kudt annual concert most probably at the year end. LOL. i was looking at other seniors and they already graduated yes. but they still take the time and effort to come out to practice and i thought abt it and im like why cant i do that too. sure they are koreans and they already have a house to stay and most probably would not have as much issues as i have but its because of the passion they have thats why they are still coming back to kudt even though they have already graduated etc. so i guess theres no way to stop someone from doing sth which they really like. 

im not sure if u guys know this program called 'idol school' but its apparently mnet's newest form of selecting girls to debut as idol. its kinda similar to produce 101 but like a school girl concept. so anyway, this girl who was from produce 101 went to idol sch again but got eliminated again so she didnt get to debut in the end. i didnt watch the show till the end but i just follow the news. shes a year younger than me and the other time i casually commented to my frens that maybe she should just resort to fate and take it that shes not meant to debut. but after that i felt bad for saying that because i just kinda of sabotage myself too. so yes, i sincerely apologise for that comment. because i dont think its possible to stop someone from achieving what they want until they really get it. its sad to see how many times she had tried to reach out for her dream but fate is not in her way. her courage to keep going really amazes me and i really feel bad for saying sth like that. 

i guess it really depends on how much you want to achieve something. if it kept pulling u back and discourage u from doing sth its ok to stop and rest for awhile. perhaps reset yr goals and think abt future strategies on how to deal with it. well, thats what i have been doing. and i think its getting better. or at least i hope. XD i mean ive been getting rejected from companies for a job and i think its ok for that to happen. ive seen many frens who submitted almost 100 applications and they only get call back from a few companies who seemed to be interested. i guess eveyrthing just goes back to failing and getting back up. its up to how much u want to commit and far u are willing to go. i think these days im pretty positive, its just i freak out easily from time to time XD its ok. i will get better and deal with all these stuff i hope ^^ 

and i think i kinda figure out why i enjoy blogging for the past 10 years. it kinda gets me to sort out my thoughts much more easier because i put them down into words. i get to picture it much more easier which i guess its a good way for me to think abt stuff. haha. yup. 

i think i will most probably try and revive this blog asap when i get the time XD but anw, those who still read. thank you. XD 

cheers haha. 

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Monday, December 19, 2011
@ 9:15 PM

장미

hello.
i think next time if i have a daughter i will name her 장미 Jang Mi~ it means rose in korean. anw I GOT ACCEPTED TO BE A FLORIST~!!! :D yay! first job of my life! haha. (Y)

come find me @ Florist Shi Ki
Talking Hall
Takashimaya Basement 1
Keep walking straight(away from the esclators) after you see KFC and turn right! :D
My boss is Jap! how cool! and woaa..... i never really actually imagine myself working as a florist. haha. i mean like ive been looking for like receptionist/clerk jobs and i just happen to find shiki adverstising online so i just gave it a shot. hehe. *pat on my own back* i wont say the pay its that great but its better than most shops outside. so yea. another *pat* ^^v HWAITING! I WILL DO MY BEST IN THE FIRST JOB! oh yea. anyone got spare polo tee? black/white? it will be my uniform. haha. i only have my obs shirt. i didnt buy the ac one last year during funorama.

and today! thum thum thum~ I FOUND A TUTEE~! :D P3 ENG AND MATH! yay!! and its like just 5-10 mins walk away from my house. DAEBAK. ^^ must really thanks Smita cos she found a full time job and she cant continue teaching. THANK YOU! kk. i need to go popular soon and look up on the assessment books on wed/thurs before my first lesson on fri! :O

actually idk if i need to work on weekends. lol. i forgot to ask during the interview. XD cos i thought i still need to wait for my boss's call for confirmation but she said in her jap accent 'nono! accepted already!' XD haha! then i think the overjoy and stuff made me forgot what i needed to ask. =.=

ive been learning korean by myself again. not sure if i will succeed this time. XD haha. i found this website which its really detailed and useful. talktomeinkorean.com (Y) highly reccommend this. but before that u need to know all the characters. lol. sigh... so i kinda wasted $100 last year in my korean class. cos now i only can remember how to read and write but i dont understand what it means. aigoo.. ok. hwaiting!

VISIT ME!!! http://cheerrox.deviantart.com :D

oh. my 1 year 'marriage' with regina on fb. lol. shes gonna divorced me soon... T.T and be with her bf... i shall change my status to divorced.

and i changed my banner!!! :D

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about
you think you know me.

hi my name is Jou Teng and i think koreans are haawt. ;)
i like to eat man tou and drink bubble tea

I was an 엘프 (E.L.F.)
i still take note of 려욱 here and there

호야 from 인피니트 is my new bias. 111228. 리더규 is my 2nd. 3rd Official Inspirit ∞

120323 B.A.P. 힘찬+젤로+대현+종웁

Watch me cheerrox@deviantart.

Dancing is what i like to do. and i want to continue doing it. To some people dancing is a sport, a way to express themselves but to others, it is LIFE.

I love Crescent and im and old girl of ACJC. I love AC Dance Society and my class. I love my og kids and i definitely love my own OGLS. MIZU AND ZURG!

I'm now living in Seoul, a student of Korea Uni Media Dept. I am also on here to fulfill the promise I have for myself. 17th Hip Hop of KUDT. KOREA UNIV DANCE TEAM.

Always keeping the faith.
항상신년울간직해라.

click 'about' and this entire thing will disappear~ *poof* because ive decided to make better use of the space XD
조팅 ♥ Cianra