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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

@ 10:31 PM

i will never let it go

hello.

so im back in singapore to settle issues. issues which i dont wish to talk about on my blog which i havent blogged for so long. but anw ever since i came back from korea which was yesterday i had thought a lot about things.

things meaning life. and priorities in life. being the emotional self again. so as u guys know that i actually got lucky and got picked by kim jong kook to film for running man. i thought about my korean name. i feel like making it official. it may sounds crazy but i really do. i feel like for some people, they just create a korean name because they want to make it easier for the koreans to address them easily and for other people some may take it serious about their name. i guess its both for me. and honestly my korean name 진전애 doesnt really make much sense. mainly 진 jin comes from my chinese surname chen and if say it long enough it sounds like zhen which means 'real' in chinese which then translates to 진 jin in korean. so thats why many of the chinese whom i have met in ku they have the surname 진 as well. and as for 전 i still havent decided on what it should be but most like i will go with the meaning of 'entire'. and 애 obviously love. lol. hence 진전애. entirely real love? LOL. wth am i talking about. i have no idea who that came out but likely it was because that time cheryl tried to make a korean name for all of us and hence from then onwards i have been using that korean name.

so my main point is that i wanna make it official. idk how and if it is even possible but i really do want to make my korean name official. i think i have a lot of attachment and feelings towards that name now. haha. i still like my birth name of course. both are special to me.

and through life. there is just no matter how smooth it may looks it will always be tough and challenging. and i really do believe that god made u go through it to learn from sth. asking me to be kind to be people. people whom i do not know. because honestly just by treating people nice and stuff it really makes a lot of difference. people like it when others treat u nice so by applying the same logic we should be nice and kind to people.

i swear today i was so so so so annoyed by the trips to the embassy but until the ica when it was my turn at the counter the lady was so nice. she kinda lifted my spirit up. honestly. thank god for her. she made me believe in service industry again. sounds dramatic. but no it wasnt. it was really tough. and she was nice enough to explain to me about the oath and passport stuff. thank you.

and if u guys ask why i am being so dramatic and sensitive over this issue, its because as u guys know. because of kudt. yes. im not lying. i dont want to lose them. if i lose them i lose 2 of the most precious things in my life. i admit i have someone im interested in dt and i feel like i will lose them. i am scared. still scared. its so scary how love drives one person crazy.

and just now my mum asked me when i will come back longer for holidays next time. when i will stop dancing. for that moment i felt kind of hurt. i mean i obviously do want to stay longer back home with my family but dancing is another thing. im sorry. some may not get me. ha. both are as important to me. i sound crazy. 시발 난 미친년같애. 존나 울고 싶다.

i just prayed that for once things will go in the right way.

have a happy christmas everyone.

Do not let your hearts be troubled.

Trust in God; trust also in me.

John 14:1

Labels: dance, family, friends, god, kudt, life

about

you think you know me.

hi my name is Jou Teng and i think koreans are haawt. ;)
i like to eat man tou and drink bubble tea

I was an 엘프 (E.L.F.)
i still take note of 려욱 here and there

호야 from 인피니트 is my new bias. 111228. 리더규 is my 2nd. 3rd Official Inspirit ∞

120323 B.A.P. 힘찬+젤로+대현+종웁

Watch me cheerrox@deviantart.

Dancing is what i like to do. and i want to continue doing it. To some people dancing is a sport, a way to express themselves but to others, it is LIFE.

I love Crescent and im and old girl of ACJC. I love AC Dance Society and my class. I love my og kids and i definitely love my own OGLS. MIZU AND ZURG!

I'm now living in Seoul, a student of Korea Uni Media Dept. I am also on here to fulfill the promise I have for myself. 17th Hip Hop of KUDT. KOREA UNIV DANCE TEAM.

Always keeping the faith.
항상신년울간직해라.

click 'about' and this entire thing will disappear~ *poof* because ive decided to make better use of the space XD

조팅 ♥ Cianra